Let me preface this post by reiterating the fact that I HATE losing. I also cringe at the thought of youth sports not keeping score and providing participation trophies. You want a trophy? Earn it. You want a championship? Win it. Life’s not fair and not everyone wins. The “everybody wins” mentality cheapens the hard work and effort of those who do their best to excel in competition while at the same time encouraging the laziness and entitlement of those who choose to just show up.
Deep breaths, Justin…..Deep breaths…
Ok, almost lost it there for a second but I’m back. What kind of game or contest are we talking about not keeping score in? We’re not. We’re talking about marriage. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard phrases like “marriage is a two-way street” or “marriage is all about give and take” and “marriage has to be 50/50 or 100/100”. I disagree. Sayyyy whatttttt?????
I don’t think marriage is any of those things. I think marriage is loving your wife, or loving your husband with ZERO expectations. Loving them unconditionally. I think marriage is blindly trusting your spouse to the point that if they told you they saw Sasquatch you’d go to the woods make some calls and knock on a few trees. Maybe I’m crazy, but too often I hear people talking about their marriage and the conversation is “well I did all the laundry, so you need to take out the garbage” or “I pay all the bills so you need to cut the grass”. We’ve all heard it or something similar…and if we’re being honest, we’ve all said it.
Well guess what? Many of marriages have been spoiled by keeping score on who has more responsibilities. It’s not a competition. If you wholeheartedly love your spouse you WANT to help, you WANT to wake up on a Saturday at 5:00 a.m. so strangers can come look through all the junk in your garage. You just want to be with them, even if its doing something that neither of you want to do….at least you’re together. When you quit keeping score….It totally removes your expectations for them because you start to live in the love you have for each other, then your marriage becomes totally selfless. I’m as guilty as any when it comes to being selfish. I love to golf, watch football, and hang out with my friends. I have to remind myself that those things aren’t my priorities and sometimes it’s hard to find balance. (Especially when the Tide’s rollin’) But, when I sit back and really think about it….I move myself out of the picture and think about her, it’s no brainer. I pick her 100 times out of 100 and the fact that she does the same for me blows my mind.
Moral of the blog for today: When it comes to your marriage…. don’t keep score. You’ll lose every time.