As husbands, we don’t always get it right. Why? We’re men. Is that an excuse? No. Fact of the matter is men are wired differently than women. It’s not a bad thing, it’s how we were created. Now, the ways that we have been shaped, molded, and changed over time are a result of how we were raised, the environments we put ourselves in, and the choices we’ve made along the way. But, like anything that can be wired, built, shaped, and molded one way…we can change for better or for worse. Where’s all this coming from?
Before marriage, before dating, before girls….we were little boys, wild and free. We played ball, we went outside, we hung out with our dads, and girls were NOT cool. We were taught to be tough, that losing sucks, and that men are to be leaders. Is any of that wrong? No. But as we grow older, start to make our own decisions, harvest our own opinions, and we start to come up with an idea of the type man we want to be. And that’s where we went wrong….
We’re imperfect people, we’re flawed, we sin…that’s not just men, that’s all of us. So when WE start to shape these ideas of the type person that WE want to be, we’re destined for imperfection. What are you saying Justin? We’re asking the wrong person what type of man we should be. Am I saying it’s wrong to have aspirations and goals? Absolutely not. I’ve never been one to believe that God micro manages to the point of whether I should work at the gas station or be a doctor.. I’ve always believed that whatever platform you have, or whatever position you’re in, that you should be a light that shines for the kingdom. What I am saying is this, We have to ask God to shape us into the man that he would have us to be, we need His direction in order to become a better man, a better husband. Because when Justin says, “this is what it is to be a man” or “this is what a husband should do”….Justin messes it up, big time…every time. E-V-E-R-Y T-I-M-E .
I say all that to say this. To our wives, fiances, and girlfriends…. We love you, we truly do but we’re not perfect. We need help. Please understand, it’s ingrained in our being to provide, love, and care for you….but sometimes, a lot of times….we have no idea what we’re doing, and we’re too proud to admit it. So, please be patient, keep loving us and know that we’re trying…but sometimes we’re looking for help in the mirror instead of help from above.
I’d like to end this blog post with reminding everyone, I’m not perfect, I’m not Dr. Phil, I don’t have all the answers and I’m not any better than anyone else. I have my own set of daily struggles just like the next. I’m just speaking on things I’m learning along the way and hope that maybe it helps someone here and there. I genuinely do believe that we all be better men and better husbands, but I don’t think we can do that on our own. However, if we’re looking for the answers in the right places, we will grow. And hopefully, our wives don’t kill us in the meantime.